We’ve all seen embarrassing photos of the groom searching for the bride’s wedding garter in the middle of the reception. It seems like an antiquated tradition that should go the way of bridesmaids sleeping with a slice of wedding cake under their pillow, but for brides who want to wear a wedding garter because it was the one their mother or grandmother wore, or they like the traditional aspect of it, there are new ways to keep the tradition alive without dad watching your husband’s head disappear under your skirt.

While you may not need a spark to ignite passion on your wedding night, you can use your garter to get the honeymoon started. “Make it truly personal by keeping it just between you two,” advises Julianne Smith, owner of The Garter Girl. “Don’t let him go get (or find it!) until you’re in the honeymoon suite.” It can be one last wedding-day surprise just for him.

You can find store bought garters that are frilly with lace and adorned with a sweet bow, but you can also shop for, or order, color-coordinated designs that match your wedding’s palette or coordinate with a hue on your wedding dress. Choose a design that reflects your personal style and not one that looks like everyone else’s. Remember that your garter will be hidden beneath your gown so it can be as classic or contemporary as you want it to be.

Make it meaningful, and your something old, by wearing the garter your mother or grandmother wore. “I think there are many traditions with your partner, father or father figure, so to have a tradition with your mother and grandmother too is somewhat special,” shared recent bride Tara Maietta who wore her grandmother’s garter on her wedding day. “My grandmother is the rock that holds the women in our family together. She is an incredible independent woman with great determination, energy, and a beautiful outlook on life. I know her garter will bring me the strength it gave her and my mother to be the best woman, wife, and mother.”

If your mom or grandma’s garter isn’t available but their wedding gown is, ask if you can have some of the dress’ fabric or beading and have a custom garter designed for the same emotional effect.  Tara’s wedding photos, shown above, are by Elizabeth Messina, You can see her wedding photos at Martha Stewart Weddings.

Monogram it. Like every other wedding detail add your married initials and wedding date to your garter to create a keepsake that makes it more than just an accessory. When your daughter or granddaughter are planning their wedding they may want to wear it to honor you, the family and tradition.