Smock Thank You Card

How to Write a Thank-You Note

Trade Secrets


Send a gracious card with these expert tips

Melinda Lion in the Sun

WHO Melinda Morris

WHAT Paper Perfectionist

WHERE Lion in the Sun in Park Slope and Huntington

WHY Because a proper thank-you note can go a long way

For which bridal events should you send thank-you notes?

In the time between your engagement and your wedding you will write more thank-you notes than you ever will for the rest of your life. It’s a lot but it is so important! You should be sure to write thank-you notes for all of the events for your wedding, certainly for each gifts received; engagement, shower, wedding, even if it is from the same person is it really important to acknowledge the generosity of each gift individually.

And don’t forget to thank your friends and family for their kind action and generosity in other ways, such as their support and advice, for throwing a shower or bachelorette party, for traveling to be with you at those events.

Showing your true appreciation for friends and family during all of these events is a way to show them how much you appreciate their love and support.

How soon after the wedding should thank-you notes be sent out?

I usually say shoot for no more than two months. Etiquette says you have a year, but I strongly encourage writing thank-you notes right away, as you receive gifts or within a few weeks of an event, while everything is fresh in your mind. Also the longer you put it off, the more it looms and the bigger and more daunting the project seems. It’s not that overwhelming if you can get to it right away while you are still basking in the afterglow of all the love and good wishes.

Should thank-you notes be handwritten or can they be printed through a printer?

I’m still old school about this and a strong advocate for thoughtful handwritten thank-you notes. Even if you don’t have a beautiful handwriting, it comes from the heart and shows time and effort and your personality. If people took the time and energy and expense to buy you a gift or do something thoughtful, the least you can do is take a few minutes to hand write a note. It makes it a special keepsake. I’m not sure that in 50 years, when cleaning out your attic, you are going to find emails or computer generated mass thank-you notes that your grandmother lovingly saved as a keepsake. But maybe? I might be old fashioned on that front.


  • Set a goal to send out your thank-you notes no more than two months after your wedding
  • Mention what the gift is in your note
  • Acknowledge the recipient’s presence (or lack thereof) at your wedding or other event
  • Thank-you notes do not need to match your wedding invitation’s design, but ordering them early will save you time

Be sure to write thank-you notes for all of the events for your wedding, and for each gift received; engagement, shower, wedding, even if it is from the same person.—Melinda Morris

Smock Thank You Cards
Smock Thank You Cards
Smock Thank You Cards

Are there any specific points that should be made in a thank-you note?

I always say be specific if you can, mention what the gift is… “Thank you so much for the blender.” And how you will use it “We are looking forward to making lots of margaritas this summer!” Also be sure to acknowledge their presence (or lack thereof), if they were at the wedding (or other event), or if they traveled a long distance to it, or if you are sorry they could not join you. If you have a photo of them at the wedding to share that is always a really really nice touch.

How do you write a thank-you note for a cash gift?

Same rules apply as above. Be sure to be thoughtful… “Thank you so much for the very generous gift. We are saving to buy a house and we are so thrilled to be able to add to that fund. We will be sure to have you over once we have moved in.”

Does the thank-you card have to match the wedding invitation?

It doesn’t have to, although for many it’s great to order thank-you notes when you purchase your wedding invitation to save time and money, and help you be ready to write them soon after the wedding if you have them already in hand. The other option is to go with a more traditional thank-you note, if you had a less traditional wedding invitation. Opt for something that is a bit more timeless with your new monogram.  Remember to order extra so you can use them for correspondence in the years to come and not just for the wedding.

Should couples send thank-you notes to their wedding vendors too? What would they include in it?

That is always such a nice gesture, and we vendors are always so thrilled to receive thank-you notes. Your vendors work hard to make your wedding day special and they generally want you to be thrilled with the results, so it means a lot to them when you take the time to say thank you.

Lion in the Sun